If you’re playing to win in relationships, you’ve already lost.

Do you keep score with your wife?

Friends?

When I was an angry SOB, I had these great courtroom arguments building the perfect case in my head against my ex.

Harvey Specter and Jack McCoy meet Alan Shore.

I could win every argument. 

My ex-wife was always looking to accuse me of things. 

Better to strike first in my reptile brain.

“Isn’t it true that on February 10, 2014 you burned dinner!”

My brain had an infinite ability to project meaning and inference into her behavior.

I created her as Patty Hewes from Damages, always conniving, judgmental and resentful. 

As I started to understand more about my own thinking and reality it shifted.

Most of our difficulties are almost always the result of a simple yet important misinterpretation. 

Clarity and insight landed for me.

I saw her as scared and operating out of hurt and fear. I also saw she was treating most people in her life in the same way;

Former friends, former business partners, former husband.

What would happen if you questioned your negative thinking about your (Insert

challenge: wife, job, kid) for the next week or two?

Ask yourself “Is it true?”

What if it is your thoughts preventing your connection?

Preventing clarity.